Biology, Not Bigotry

Marriage is social convention, but it rests on biological realities.

Over the course of four million years, biological evolution has selected two sexes for the reproduction and rearing of offspring to perpetuate the human species. Human reproductive organs possess an evolved compatibility. The male's external reproductive organs and the female's mostly internal reproductive organs when properly functioning enable intercourse and reproduction. Although instinct does not determine human behavior the same way that it does in other species, natural processes involving various visual, auditory, and olfactory cues influence human mating. Facial appearance, voice pitch, and the more subtle influences of pheromones such androstadienone and copulance draw the sexes together. Sexual desire itself as a visceral urge is expressed through human reproductive faculties. These biological phenomena assist in establishing human mating generally and finding genetically advantageous mates specifically.

Some interesting and informative videos can be found here.

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Men and women have been engaging in sexual intercourse, giving birth, rearing children, and forming extensive kinship networks based upon consanguinity for ions of time. And over the course of time, different societies have developed a variety of social norms or customs to regulate and infuse meaning into the forming of families. Those customs are what makes marriage a social convention. But marriage is a convention that rests upon marriage conceived as a union between a man and a woman.

So What is Marriage Anyway?

The first time I heard a Christian say, "God made Adam and Eve--not Adam and Steve," I thought it was pretty funny and that it expressed some intuitive truth about marriage. Forty years later it is not quite as funny and its continued use indicates how little thought most Christians have put into their opposition to same sex-marriage since that time.

About the only elaboration of the Christian position against same sex marriage is expressed in the idea of "biblical marriage." Christian usually posit the concept of  "biblical marriage" (or the more ecumenical "traditional marriage" ) as a contrast to same-sex marriage. The concept of "biblical marriage" originated from another use. Christians more often have used the concept of "biblical marriage" in a different sense. They use it to describe the effort to employ biblical principles to guide the relationship between husband and wife within a marriage. The last several posts here at the Secular Square, however,  show that much of what the Bible (or least the Mosaic Law) says about marriage does not seem to be much a part of contemporary "biblical marriage" at all.

After several posts on what the Bible says about so-called "biblical marriage," maybe it's time to offer up a few posts  on a contemporary controversy about marriage: same sex marriage.

So what is marriage anyway?

Marriage is historically understood as a union between a man and woman. Efforts to describe just what kind of union reveals its multifaceted character. The most common models understandings include marriage as a social practice, a religious rite, a legal contract, and a civil institution.

First, marriage as a social practice is the most fundamental. As a social practice, marriage precedes political society and the modern state’s establishment of marriage as a legal institution. Marriage brings together a man and woman into a new relationship between them and into a new standing before the larger society. For most of human history and in traditional patriarchal societies today, fathers arrange the marriages of their children. Arranged marriages usually are endogamous in that they maintain existing kinship networks. Marriages between relatives sharing some degree of consanguinity reinforces tribal or clan identity. Of course, families arrange exogamous marriages outside the existing kinship ties as well in order to establish new ones. Enhancing the economic well-being or status of the families motivates many if not most arranged marriages. As a social practice, traditional marriage serves the related functions of regulating sexual behavior, establishing the legitimacy of offspring, and defining property arrangements. Romantic love or passion between spouse either do not constitute a crucial aspect of arranged marriages at all or it is expected to emerge during the marriage. The rise of modern romantic marriage, however, fundamentally altered traditional practices. In the West and in other less traditional societies, modern marriage is understood as a matter of individual choice.


Second, because most societies contain one or more religious traditions, marriage is also considered a religious rite. The ceremony informs the event with religious meaning as the couple assumes a new standing before their deity. This usually means some religious official presides over the ceremony, confers divine blessings on the union, and provides some sort of theological understanding of marriage within that society‘s religious tradition. Marriage as a religious right endures even in today’s more secular age. In most nations, the state authorizes religious officials to conduct marriages.


Third, because marriage involves some agreement between parties, whether between family heads in an arranged marriage or between individuals in modern marriage, it is also described as a contract. In fact, most civil codes today define it as such. When a proposal for marriage is agreed upon, the couple exchanges promises regarding rights and duties. Marriage differs from other legal contracts, however,  in that the parties rarely write out the rights and duties as clauses in a  formal agreement.


Finally, marriage has become in modern societies a civil institution. The modern state has assumed regulatory powers over marriage through licensing. The state establishes licensing procedures and specifies who may enter into marriage contracts and what kinds of marriage contracts it will recognize. The state accords recognition based upon the interests of the state.


It is within marriage’s status as a civil institution where the battle over same-sex marriage takes place.

As a social practice, religious rite, and maybe even a legal contract, any two people of any  gender or relationship can marry. Same sex couples can make an informal contract involving  vows of love and fidelity and affirming rights and duties. Same sex couples can secure religious blessings with the tradition of their choice. And same sex couples can present themselves before their family and friends as a married couple.

The question is, must a state recognize and grant legal sanction to same sex marriages?

In making a case for same-sex marriage, homosexual rights advocates appeal to these multifaceted attributes of marriage. They note marriage’s status as a social, religious, contractual, and institutional character. They elaborate on the incredibly diverse marital practices both in the past and today. In essence, they argue that marriage is a mere social convention. As societies change, so do their conventions. This anthropological or philosophical observation often leads, either implicitly or explicitly, to the legal argument that restriction of marriage to heterosexual couples is a residual and outdated convention, usually based upon religion, that singles out and illegally discriminates against homosexuals.

They ignore the fact that, while marriage is a social convention, it is based upon certain facts of nature--the existence of two sexes.

And this is where that Christian soundbite about "Adam and Eve--not Adam and Steve" exhibit that intuitive truth about marriage.

Laws confining marriage to heterosexuals are not based upon bigotry; they are based upon biology.

The next post will explore that question.

Biblical Marriage: Divorce and Dishonor

In this last look at the concept of biblical marriage: how can they be ended?

Divorce and dishonor.

The Mosaic Law allows for ending marriage through divorce--at least for men:

 "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.  And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.  And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;  Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance."  Deut 24:1-4 (KJV)

The biblical ground for divorce is loss of favor owing to uncleanness. The bible never defines exactly what that means. The Hebrew word for uncleanness is translated nakedness in the vast majority of occurrences in the writings of the Old Testament. In cannot mean adultery, however, since that offense against the Mosaic Law requires death.

If the divorced woman remarries and then is divorced again or widowed, the original husband may not remarry her.

The Mosaic Law makes no provision for wives divorcing husbands.

The Mosaic Law also allows for ending marriages through honor killings.

After the consummation of a marriage, the newly married husband might entertain doubts about the purity of his bride. If he accuses her of impurity, the charge reflects on the character of the woman as well as that of the parents.  According to Deuteronomy 21, such a charge must be brought before the elders of the village. The law demands that the parents provide evidence of the sexual purity of their daughter in the form of the "tokens of her virginity"--the bloody bed coverings. (One wonders how many Hebrew maidens lost their lives over this forensic non-evidence?)

If the parents can provide such evidence, the husband must pay the brides parents money for slandering their reputation and he is forbidden from ever divorcing the woman.

If the parents cannot provide such evidence, the bride must be killed for dishonoring the parents because she engaged in premarital sexual relations.

"But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:  Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." Deut 22:20-21 (KJV)

It appears that the notion of "honor killings" in Muslim countries that occasionally attract Western media attention are not evidence of some new practice  associated with the modern rise of Islamic fundamentalism. Instead, it looks like the revival of a cultural practice among Semitic people of the ancient Middle East, codified in the laws of Moses.

Biblical Marriage: Polygamy

Biblical marriages not only were endogamous arrangements within the tribe that often included a bride price, but also were polygamous.

Readers in Genesis learn that several of the "patriarchs" had more than one wife. Abraham married Sarah and Hagar. Jacob married Rachel and Leah. Esau married Judith and Bashemath.

This cultural convention of the ancient Hebrews received recognition in the Mosaic Law. In Deuteronomy  Moses provides the following directions for inheritance problems caused by polygamous marriages:

 "If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:  Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:  But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his."  Deut 21:15-17 (KJV)

And, of course, later examples of polygamous marriages in Hebrew history include, Gideon, David, Solomon, and virtually all the Hebrew monarchs.

Polygamy is something we do not hear about when Christians talk about "biblical marriages."

We do hear about polygamy from Christians when they argue that state recognition of same sex marriage opens the door to polygamy. Once the laws rip marriage from its heterosexual foundation and childbearing purposes, they argue, then anything goes. No reasonable grounds remain for any definition of marriage.

Because polygamous marriages were a cultural tradition among the ancient Hebrews and recognized by the Mosaic Law in the bible,  Christians cannot make this argument and remain consistent with the propositional truths contained in their collection of sacred writings.

Not that it is a bad argument. But unfortunately for the Christian, only we non-Christian supporters of traditional Roman marriages of one man and one woman can make it.

Biblical Marriage: All in the Family

Another feature of "biblical marriage" that remains irrelevant today  concerns who the people of Yahweh may marry. The ancient Hebrews engaged in endogomous marriages, or marriages within their tribe.

Abraham secured a wife from his family: he married Sarai, his half sister. According to Gen. 20:12, they shared the same father but not the same mother.

Abraham arranged an endogamous  marriage for his son Isaac with relatives back in Haran.


" And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.  And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:  And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:  But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac." Gen 24:1-4 (KJV)


Isaac arranged an endogamous marriage with relatives back in Haran:

"And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.  Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother." Gen 28:1-3 (KJV)

Isaac's brother Esau, in contrast, displeased his parents by marrying outside the tribe:

"And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:  Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah." Gen 26:34-35 (KJV)

These well-established cultural practices later evolved into commands from Yahweh to the Hebrews through the Mosaic Law that included the religious basis:

"Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly." Deut 7:3-4 (KJV)

Not sure what to make of this last command, given that later Yahweh permits the marriage to foreign women captured in war.

Biblical Marriage: Servants and Slaves

The previous post noted that the most traditional of biblical marriages is the arranged marriage. The families involved negotiate an exchange of a bride for a bride price.

Not many "biblical marriages" are formed this way, at least not in this country.

A couple of other ways of establishing a biblical marriage include servitude and slavery.

A Hebrew man could buy a female servant and betroth her to either himself or his son :

"And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.  If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.  And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. 1 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.  And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money." Ex 21:7-11 (KJV)

A Hebrew man could also acquire a sex slaves from captives in war. This arose as an afterthought. When the Hebrews later began their occupation of their "promised land," they waged war against neighboring tribes. One of the tribes included the Midianites, relatives of the wife of Moses. After one clash, Moses issue the following command:

 "Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.  But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." Num 31:17-18 (KJV)

Young girls thus considered as "war booty" makes this out to be an iron age "Booty Call."

Before occupying the promised land, Moses repeated the law first given by Yahweh at Sinai. This second giving of the law included information that Yahweh overlooked the first time. Some of this information detailed what to do with captives in their war of conquest: if you find attractive women, you can make they wives--after killing her parents, of course.

"When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,  And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;  Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;  And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.  And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her." Deut 21:10-14 (KJV)

In addition to arranged marriages, these are two more examples of "biblical marriage" that we do not see much in this Christian nation.

Biblical Marriage: Arrangers and Exchangers

In this installment of "blogging the Bible," we will begin to examine the "case law" examples that Yahweh allegedly provided Moses to guide the Hebrews in the application of the Ten Commandments to specific issues or peripheral controversies that might arise in their society. Instead of examining these passages in order or "verse by verse," they will be grouped together topically. In addition,  scriptures outside the law itself will be used for illustrative purposes.

The first topic under examination is the most fundamental human institution: marriage and family. The precarious status and uncertain future of the contemporary family has invited a great deal of discussion in the last few decades. In addition, the movement for same sex marriage has sought to redefine the institution.

 In Christian circles, sometimes the discussion revolves around the concept of "biblical marriage." This concept, however,  has only a tenuous relationship to the concept of marriage as delineated in the Bible. It comes across as somewhat silly. Later on some similar observations will be made about the equally silly notion of same sex marriage.

So what about biblical marriage?

First, biblical marriages are arranged marriages. The Mosaic Law does not state it explicitly or specify any legal parameters regarding arrangements. It is implicit in many related passages, such as Exodus 22:17. Readers can find examples of arranged marriages in the Bible before the giving of the Law. Some examples include the following:

God arranges a marriage for Adam: Gen.2:18-25.

Abraham negotiates a marriage for his son Isaac with Bethuel: Gen.  24:1-67.



Isaac and his son Jacob negotiates a marriage with Laban:  Gen. 29:1-35

Even single mom Hagar arranges a marriage for her son: Gen. 21:21.

Second, as arranged marriages, they usually involve some economic exchange--the bride price.

Some examples:

Abraham's servant offered a bride price after Bethuel and Label agreed to the marriage proposal"


"Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.  Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the Lord hath spoken.  And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.  And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things." Gen 24:50-53 (KJV)

Isaac's son Jacob arranging a marriage without any property to speak of, worked seven years for his first wife:


"And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.  And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.  And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her." Gen 29:18-20 (KJV)

When Laban swindled him and pulled the old switcheroo, giving him the elder sister Leah instead of Rachel, he spent another seven years working off the bride price for Rachel:


 "And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also."
Gen 29:28 (KJV)

A couple of observations:

First, arranged marriages and bride prices seem to be a cultural feature of the ancient Middle East. They are not obviously some grand idea from divine revelation necessary to overcome mankind's inability to craft just laws because of they sinfulness.

Second, arranged marriages and bride prices constitute part of marriage in the Bible but not "biblical marriages" as touted by pastors, theologians, and Christian counselors.